Wednesday, January 13, 2016

When It's Heavy

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For me, college was Disney Land. I THRIVE in sunshine and extracurricular activities and friendship. I loved class and missed no opportunity to nerd out in the front row. I seriously loved it all.

Except Personal Finance... don't even get me started. Even then, I counted sitting through the lectures on the betas and metas and interests as a small price to pay for the JOY that I had in this place. (Don't read: college was a small price to pay... it was actually a very large price. Totes worth it... but um.. HEFTY.) 

And then we all graduated and there were no more flag football games and it became work to keep up with even my closest friends. We all started working and getting married, and there was joy in this season too but I saw quickly that it was funneling us into lives that would know challenges greater than keeping the suite's goldfish alive over Christmas break. 

In my current season, my newsfeed is exploding with pleas for prayer from my friends for their sick babies, infertility, housing and financial stress. Personally, I am continuing to work through our failed adoption. All of a sudden, it's HEAVY. Collectively, it seems like we are just very very tired. (Or maybe that part is just me... since I tend to birth babies that never ever EVER sleep.) 

I run from heavy. Nobody WANTS heavy in any context of the word. 

I don't WANT heavy. But sometimes I NEED heavy. Sometimes it is gracious of the Lord to give me things that are heavy. A lot of the time, no one tells you that at church. 

Heavy causes us to slow our rolls a little bit. We sit and think and pray. We desperately read our Bibles as our daily bread. We are humbled. We find ourselves praying constantly and with urgency. We realize that our urgent prayers slowly change from "Lord take this away" to "Lord what are you doing?" We're finally ready to take counsel from others. Our faith becomes real and we hold onto it with clinched fists. We realize that God must REALLY care for us to pull at our hearts in such a strong way; to make us unsatisfied with endless mindless screen time. What a blessing. How deeply he must love us! 

Heavy gives us a unique and huge opportunity. 

After having a fairly large  monumental freak out session and working through my crazy, I have arrived on the other side of the heavy mountain. My marriage has grown even stronger. We press on together. We strive. We strive so hard to represent Christ well. We carefully consider our words and our actions and we are THANKFUL for the ways that God has grown us. 

The fruit is undeniable in so many of my friends experiencing the heavy right now. The testimony they give to the goodness of Christ no matter the immediate outcome of current situations forces fellow believers into diligent prayer and sitting and thinking about their own lives and examples. 

These things have happened and are happening when it's heavy. 

Press on, brothers and sisters. Be comforted. You are not alone. The Lord is doing a great work in your life. He is pulling you in. You are blessed. HE is our daily bread. 

God blesses those who are poor and realize their need for him, for the Kingdom of Heaven is theirs. - Matthew 5:3  (AKA, the very first line of the most famous sermon ever... so there's that.)