Wednesday, July 1, 2015

On doing a good job

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Tonight I made a solo all by myself trip to walmart for cookies because I do a lot of food sharing around here and sometimes everyone just needs to eat some cookies not covered in someone else's slobber.

As I was checking out, my ears perked up at the sound of a little baby cry. I'm like one of those dogs that hears things no one else hears. (Is that a specific breed? I obviously know nothing about wildlife.) I looked behind me and saw a sweet mama who looked like she had had some high stress today. She was desperately shushing the baby. I told her about how I have babies coming out my ears at home. Really, I just have two little blessings but sometimes it feels like 10. I told her she was doing a good job and that she was a GOOD MAMA.

She started crying and telling me about how the baby's daddy had gone to the ER today and the baby hadn't had a nap and yes he looks just like his daddy with that red hair. I told her I couldn't imagine if something happened to my baby's daddy... who also happens to be my husband... and that I was really sorry about her boyfriend? husband? (Trying desperately not to say something that would make her day worse right now...) Yes. Husband. He's going to be okay. Just a long day.

I told her again that she was doing a really good job. And to hang in there. And then I hugged her in the middle of wal-mart and the cashier thought we were together and started ringing her up and I said "oh no... we don't know each other..." Read: I'm not actually buying her groceries right now.

When I walked away I started thinking about how often we just need someone to acknowledge that what we're doing is hard and that we're doing a good job.

We're all desperately fighting to defend and protect what we think is the very most important thing. Sometimes that comes out in hateful social media debate, or insensitively saying stupid things while trying to fight for what we love.

Lets just stop and tell each other "good job" sometimes. Work is hard. Babies are hard. Life is incredibly beautiful and OH MY GOSH so draining sometimes. Give yourself grace, mama. You are doing a really good job. Your babies love you so much. They cling to YOUR legs and want YOU to carry them out to the car. Even though sometimes your toddler is a little pudgy and it wouldn't hurt her to walk off those daily cheese sticks while you ALSO carry an infant carseat. (Maybe that's just me though... ) They think YOU are hilarious, and that YOU do all the voices in all the books the best.

Tonight, I'm choosing to sit back, eat a cookie(s), and remember how much fun I had with my sidekicks today. We all need to remember to give and receive a little more grace sometimes. Also, if you see a mama with a tiny infant, ALWAYS comment on how cute that baby's hair is. They will eat. that. up. Speaking from experience here.